Ruin Dance

Another unfinished world has tumbled down. It was a kingdom of folded cards, which was wrecked because of a slight breath of wind. Still she smiled and laughed at her disappointment and hysteria. He bolted his feelings inside his red glass jars. Surfacing just to take a bit of oxygen and beam to the frozen water in the air. It ended. She ended it. They ended. Going to a new untamed territory is a reluctant decision. In the meantime they prefer to go on dancing on the old new ruins; trying to enjoy and scrape the taste of the meal they could have had together. Outside the fence I look inside of the unfinished world that has tumbled down.

as fireflowers bloom

Today I witnessed a big party over the town. The sky was burned with many colors, like splashes of tints on a dark blue canvas. The fireflowers blasted off, exploded, rained down: lending a little feast for hungry lonely eyes. People were there, friends were there, I was inside happiness. Everybody and everything cheered. Somehow I feel like the dark blue canvas, but separated from those splashes of cheering tints. There is another party of dark canvasses inside me.

Processing

I am learning to walk on fire without getting my feet burned,
I am learning to eat shreds of glass without making my mouth bleed,
I am learning to look at a sun eclipse without getting my eyes blinded.
All there is to life and to live. I am learning.

Battered

Has it reapproached ? Has it come anew? Am I still capable of those give and take games? Have I not yet been crippled?

I changed my shape. Now I long to go back into the old me, for I have a new vessel now. A place to pour my rainbows down, to dip my soul to rest. But somehow I can not reach my old state yet. Somewhere in my old path I lost something meaningful, which I dread to save. If I can be the mahadevi again, if he can turn me into his energy, if we can mould ourselves into one subsistence.

My resistance. My rocket. My safety net.

The Arrival

Lo and behold!
Here comes my savior!

Galloping on the last unicorn, singing the song of the unknown land I have been desiring. His hair is as black as cold coals down inside the earth with streaks of golden aurora of the north pole. His smile is more blinding than the brightest sun burning over the african deserts. His eyes are falcons combing the land from above. Bewitching the very land where I stand, blowing a sweet scented breeze, blooming little white flowers on the ground between my feet. In grace he comes, spreading ripples of gentleness towards the sad and frightened trees.

He has found me.

step one

It is so very easy to be evil.
The root has been residing there since before the dawn has cracked. Sometimes you just do things without wanting. But still responsibilty is something you can't deny from you. Do you have to be evil to be able to keep on going with life? Because it is so very easy to be evil.

Explosion

Today I broke down. I tried to hold up the water inside my dam the whole time. But the pressure was just too forceful for my weakening strength; for the sky has been vomiting its bowels ever since his last new strokes. It was just too much for my basin, it was too hot for my snow barrier. I melted, it bursted out.

Transformers

I watch his words gliding to where I stand like a glistening serpent searching its way through uncountable barriers. Eerie it is, observing those beings changing shapes and shades gradually. What was blue can turn itself to yellow, what was big can turn into the tiniest element ever. What kind of magic takes place here I know not, yet constant quiver rules me, like lays of earth sometimes shudder when they clash on one another.

That they are carnivorous is not a new lesson. So I wonder, if I am going to throw myself back into their pit once again. Letting them fill my belly with sweets before all of a sudden slashing my flesh into little pieces, devouring them like hungry hyenas. Are they becoming my little gods that I am willing to offer myself on their behalf ?