haste

Here is everything still in chaos. I have to tidy them up bit by bit.
I have no idea what is taking me so long to finish this one single chore, but I still need time.

I often have bad dreams of being left alone, being the only one left when everyone has gone away. Then I would try to catch up in order to be with the others again; but I just can't. I would run as fast as I can, run and run and run, until I wake up with sweat on my forehead.

I am still tidying myself up. Rotten memories under my bed. Fear on the dark corners. Anger on the ceiling, low self-esteem on the walls. Traces from almost three decades of life time. I have to tidy myself up and throw all self-destroying things away.

I still need time and no one would wait.